Comedy Newspaper Aricle about Smoking -- Spoof Joke Anti Smoking

A Smoking Spoof The Daily Smoker Funded by the Institute for Smoking and Hacking and by the makers of FLEM: "Stay happy while we get rid of the nasty." The Smoker's Perspective Nicotine: The Supreme Drug for Supreme Health Staff Writer: Jo "The Butthead" Khamel For many years, anti-smoking groups, such as the American Cancer Association, and government agencies, like the Food and Drug Administration, have confused and mislead the public by incorrectly concluding that smoking is bad and unhealthy. Nonsense! In fact, there are several articles that would support nicotine as a drug that promotes perfect health. For instance, and article by Doug Levy of the USA Today discusses nicotine's power of promoting alertness. Nicotine speeds up the communication between brain cells and stimulates areas of the brain tied to alertness and memory. Mr. Levy also writes about nicotine's relationship toward Parkinson's disease. Levy also writes that cigarette smoking can lower the risk of Parkinson's disease. Researchers claim that something in smoke lowers the levels of an enzyme known as MAO B. Smokers have about 40% less MAO B than nonsmokers or ex-smokers, according to Joanna Fowler of the Brookhaven National Lab in Upton, NY. Because reduced levels of MAO B result in greater amounts of dopamine, smokers may have a lower risk of Parkinson's, a nerve disease aggravated by dopamine shortages. In another article by the Associated Press in the USA Today, researchers suggested that cigarette smoking sharpens short-term learning and memory among young people. Researchers at the University of California, San Diego, tested young smokers and nonsmokers at a word game that required rapid memory and quick recall. The 12 electrodes attac... ...JR Renolds, Inc., and The Council for Smoking and Hacking Research. References Begley, S. "Memories Are Made of...." Newsweek. November 4, 2007. 68. Associated Press. "Research suggests smoking sharpens thinking." USA Today. November 19, 2007. Levy, D. "Nicotine's power on brain tied to smoker's alertness." USA Today, August 8, 2007. ......"Smoking, lower Parkinson's risk linked." USA Today. August 8, 2007. Disclaimer: The odd names (FLEM, Flip Moris, JR Renolds, Institute for Smoking and Hacking) are not real in any form. For certain purposes, those odd names are meant to be comical and should not be affiliated with actual tobacco institutions and companies. However, the cited references in the essay are reported facts found in newspapers and magazine articles. Jo "The Butthead" Khamel is not a real person. If it is, then the use was unintentional.